life in penang and sarawak

       November 9th, year 2006, while i was playing warcraft….she called. I know that it is suppose to be over, but i couldn’t forget her, I couldn’t help my self. The memories keeps coming back to me. The day b4, she oppologises for treating me so badly in KL. What is the point oppologising after so long? Its been almost half a year dee. If she knew that she was wrong at that time, why did she do it then? Why hurt me so badly? Is it fun to see me suffer? With all the tears that flowed, its painful…. Back to Nov 9th, she called and happily ask "how are you?". Its that suppose to make me hurt more? Showing me that she is very happy with her current bf and enjoying her life. Well…. I’m not as lucky as her. I don have someone to love me nor to care for me. So I said "if u called me jus to show how happy u are now? Pls don. I don’t wanna noe bout u and ur bf. It really hurts me, seeing my beloved with other guys." I’m really sad at that time…. Don even have the mood to continue the warcraft game I was playing. But i had to…. cos I’m playing it with my frens. I can’t jus quit like that. I told her that if we could still have another chance, then I would be dying to accept her back. I can’t believe that I still misses her and love her till now. She gave me a dissapointing answer. And said that we could only be frens. After 5 years of being together, being my "wife", being the person the i loved the most in the world, how can I treat her as jus a fren? I love her too much as a fren. The time we spend together, the places we went, and the stuffs we did together. How can I forget all those moments in a blink of an eye? But how can she did that? How did she did it? I really must admire her. How can those moments suddenly go "puffs" and dissapear? They whole 5 years, all I only remembered is our happy moments. The sad moments, they’re all gone. But all she could remember is on the other hand, the sad moments. The moments where I hurt her, where I make her sad and cry. But what about the times when she hurt me? Didn’t I felt it? I’m also human, a person that can feel pain, suffer, cry and have tears rolling down from my eyes. I can let go all of that, bcos I love her. If she loves me so much last time, why can’t she let go? Only happy moments will make a relationship and love grow and go far….. Tears will drag it down. Its my revision week, exams starts on the 14th of Nov and ends on the 24 th of Nov. Last semester, she broke up with me on my revision week, now she is "breaking up" with me again on my revision week. Why is she so "good" at choosing the time? Why must it be my revision week? sigh…..

        So…..I told her that if she is calling me to noe how bad I was feeling, pls don call. Don ever call me…… I don wanna shed tears again for someone that doesn’t love me anymore, for someone that can forget love so easily. I knew that I can’t treat her as a fren again, not till when I’m ready. Ready to accept her as a normal fren. A normal fren where there is no love, only friendship……..

        November 9th 2006, a day where I lost my love and a fren at the same time…….

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