a new sem, a new year, a new life…..

January 7th, 2007 by hanchou85

Goin back to sarawak really is very depressing for me….. alone in the airport from pg to kl then to kuching, 11 am till 10 pm. 11 hours of loneliness, 11 hours of depression and 11 hours of happy pg holiday thoughts running through my mind…… The only thing that keeps me goin is the cny holiday 1 month from now. (i.e. goin back to uni then coming back to pg 1 month after that) can’t imagine the fun i’m gonna get when i get back again….. fishing, futsal, football, hanging around in gurney, gsc and most important of all is having great food. I din have the time to go to my fren’s curry mee shop in town. Wish i can go there next month.

Last year is a very bad year 4 me……. so much dissapointment, so much money is being wasted, accidents and lousy results….. haih… Hope the year 2007 will make an end to it. As i said, a new sem, a new year and a new life…..

Pg, at last….

December 1st, 2006 by hanchou85

Finally I’m back in Pg again. Nothing is better than home sweet home. hehe……. i’m goin to enjoy myself for the whole holiday….hehe.. Not goin to work….jus sit back, relax, go out with frens and eat and sleep…. ahahahaha!!!! nothing is better than being in my hometown….Love the penang road chendol, the char koay teow, leng lui tong shui in jelutong, the chulia street char hor fun and ….and…… wah!! too many dee, can’t finish listing it…

To those of u that leave Pg to study or work, u guys get what i mean didn’t u? haha…. ok guys, good to be home….

anyway, if there is any kang tau, call me ya…… i’m available anytime and anywhere. c ya…

Its the end…..

November 9th, 2006 by hanchou85

       November 9th, year 2006, while i was playing warcraft….she called. I know that it is suppose to be over, but i couldn’t forget her, I couldn’t help my self. The memories keeps coming back to me. The day b4, she oppologises for treating me so badly in KL. What is the point oppologising after so long? Its been almost half a year dee. If she knew that she was wrong at that time, why did she do it then? Why hurt me so badly? Is it fun to see me suffer? With all the tears that flowed, its painful…. Back to Nov 9th, she called and happily ask "how are you?". Its that suppose to make me hurt more? Showing me that she is very happy with her current bf and enjoying her life. Well…. I’m not as lucky as her. I don have someone to love me nor to care for me. So I said "if u called me jus to show how happy u are now? Pls don. I don’t wanna noe bout u and ur bf. It really hurts me, seeing my beloved with other guys." I’m really sad at that time…. Don even have the mood to continue the warcraft game I was playing. But i had to…. cos I’m playing it with my frens. I can’t jus quit like that. I told her that if we could still have another chance, then I would be dying to accept her back. I can’t believe that I still misses her and love her till now. She gave me a dissapointing answer. And said that we could only be frens. After 5 years of being together, being my "wife", being the person the i loved the most in the world, how can I treat her as jus a fren? I love her too much as a fren. The time we spend together, the places we went, and the stuffs we did together. How can I forget all those moments in a blink of an eye? But how can she did that? How did she did it? I really must admire her. How can those moments suddenly go "puffs" and dissapear? They whole 5 years, all I only remembered is our happy moments. The sad moments, they’re all gone. But all she could remember is on the other hand, the sad moments. The moments where I hurt her, where I make her sad and cry. But what about the times when she hurt me? Didn’t I felt it? I’m also human, a person that can feel pain, suffer, cry and have tears rolling down from my eyes. I can let go all of that, bcos I love her. If she loves me so much last time, why can’t she let go? Only happy moments will make a relationship and love grow and go far….. Tears will drag it down. Its my revision week, exams starts on the 14th of Nov and ends on the 24 th of Nov. Last semester, she broke up with me on my revision week, now she is "breaking up" with me again on my revision week. Why is she so "good" at choosing the time? Why must it be my revision week? sigh…..

        So…..I told her that if she is calling me to noe how bad I was feeling, pls don call. Don ever call me…… I don wanna shed tears again for someone that doesn’t love me anymore, for someone that can forget love so easily. I knew that I can’t treat her as a fren again, not till when I’m ready. Ready to accept her as a normal fren. A normal fren where there is no love, only friendship……..

        November 9th 2006, a day where I lost my love and a fren at the same time…….

         

LoVe…….

October 30th, 2006 by hanchou85

                                                            ~*~ LoVe ~*~

                               It takes only one minute to get a crush on someone,
                                an hour to like someone and a day to love someone,
                                        but it takes a life time to forget someone.

                                                 I’m not supposed to love you…..
                                                    I’m not supposed to care…..
                    I’m not supposed to wonder where you are…. and what you do….
                            I’m sorry i cant help it….I already fell in love with you

                              I still remember the day you where holding my hand….
                            you say ur gonna walk to the end of the world with me….
                                                  But Then… You leave me…
                           

                           From the day you went away… I forgot how to breathe….
                                                         how to cry…
                              from that day.. I’m afraid of looking up to the sky…
                                          from now on only I’m waiting….
                          things are getting blurry…. I forgot what I’m waiting for…
                                                          
LoVe?…..

                                        Is there really have True LoVe?
                     Where can I find the answer…. or maybe there is no answer…

A Love Story

October 24th, 2006 by hanchou85

Well… i’ve nothing to write…

JUs wanted to share to u guys this story i wrote 4 my english assessment.

Give some comments ya… hehe…

hope u like it..

                                           A Love Story

Screeching tires……

BANG!!!!

Lily and his father quickly rush out from their car. They could see a man lying in front of them motionless. Lily was so afraid at that moment. She could remember that when she was nine, her mother died because of accident. She was crossing the road, and then suddenly, a car came so fast that she couldn’t dodge it. Her mother then dashed to save Lily.

BANG!!!

Lily was pushed to a safe spot while her mother was lying in front of the car motionless. Just like that unlucky man being hit by Lily’s dad. Since that day, Lily is particularly afraid of accidents.

Back at the accident……

Lily and his father was stunt, they were so nervous. They were worried that that poor man had died. They did not know what to do at that time because it happened so sudden.

First thing that came up on their mind was to bring that unlucky man to the hospital. After waiting for a few hours in the hospital, the doctor approached them. He told them that the man had a serious injury in his brain due to the hard knock.

“There was a clog in the brain. He might loose his memory.” doctor explained to Lily and his father.   

“So, what shall we do!!! Doc…you must help him. I’ll pay….. I’ll pay……!!!! How much you need….??” Lily’s father asks the doctor nervously while holding both of his palms tightly.

Grabbing them hard. Lily could felt the pressure and the guilty conscience of his father running through the whole body.

Days have passed, Lily and his father have been visiting the man everyday. They have been hoping that the man will heal and wake up from his coma. After that Lily and his father can tell the true story to that man and ask for his forgiveness.

One day, the phone rang. It was from the doctor, Lily quickly answered the phone. After hearing the good news she shouted.

“Dad!! Dad!! Hurry up and pack. That man has waken up. Thank GOD.”

So, they rushed to the hospital to meet the man and to settle the medical bills.

They needed his identity card to check out for that man. They’ve searched his clothes but couldn’t find anything. It could have been flung somewhere during the accident. Lily’s father felt very sorry for the poor guy. So, he decided to let the guy to stay at their house until he is fully recovered. Soon after the accident, Lily and his dad named the man Andy. He hired Andy to work for them at the lodging house.

As the years waved in and out, Andy and Lily became closer and closer. Day by day and minutes by minutes, they soon can be seen together all the time. They do all things together such as, household chores and work. Deep down in their hearts, they love each other very much. Their arrogance has kept their feelings to themselves. They never show and tell each other about their feelings. Everybody in the village noticed how they felt towards each other. Lily’s father keeps creating chances for them to get together. But the poor old guy often gets disappointed. 

On a very fine morning, Andy couldn’t bear it any longer. He has decided to tell Lily how he felt. Andy took a deep breath, collecting all his courage and releasing it with all his might. He planed to let go of his arrogance today and tell Lily how he feels for her. Finally, with a heavy foot, he took a step and a step and a step, closer and closer to Lily. “Dup…dap…dup…dap…!!!"Andy could hear his heart pounding, loud, clear and fast as he walk closer and closer to Lily. Millions of thought was running through his mind at that moment. He felt that it is not enough for Lily to be as a friend, he wanted her to be his wife. He was expecting a relationship that is more than a friend. He wanted to let Lily know what is in his heart and he hoped that Lily would accept it.

“Lily…. I wanted to tell you something…. Can you stop folding the clothes a while?” ask Andy nervously with a slow and gentle voice.

“Ya… sure. Why not… What do you want to tell me??” reply Lily.

“Ermm… Lily… do you think we could be more than just friend?? I’ve always loved you since I met you after the accident” ask Andy with his eyes opened wide full of hope.

His hands were holding hard, while he is praying silently, hoping that Lily would feel the same way as he does. Lily happily replied with a little bit of shyness

“Are you sure what you talking about Andy? Errrr…. I’ll need some time to think about it I guess. It’s too sudden.” said Lily.

So, sad-Andy just turned away from her and went back to his corner feeling down and continued his work. Right at the moment Andy turns away, Lily quickly run towards Andy and hug him from behind, holding him tight and feeling Andy’s heart beat.

“I love you too” she said to Andy.

Five years later…..

Years of being a couple together have finally make them know each other very well. Andy can read Lily’s mind and Lily can read Andy’s mind. Finally, they both get engaged and get married a year after. Most of the villagers were there, attending their wedding ceremony. Flowers and gifts have filled their little living room. There were peoples laughing and giggling everywhere. Everyone was happy. They both had their happiest day in their life in their wedding.

A few weeks later, Lily’s father got sick. He has some complications with his heart. Lily was very worried because her father refused to go to the hospital. Lily and Andy had always persuaded him, but it didn’t work. A couple of months later, Lily’s father passed away. Now, Andy is responsible to take care of Lily and the lodging house.

One day, Andy went to town. Lily did not want to follow him because she is not feeling very well. As he walks along Jalan Gopeng in Kuching town,

Whack!!!

There was blood everywhere. The blood was flowing uncontrollably from his wound. Before Andy could do or say anything, he has already collapsed to the ground.  Passer by tried to help Andy, but the wound was too serious. Nobody could do anything but to call the ambulance.

Hours later, Andy finally woke up. Both of his hands were holding his head while Andy is shouting in pain. His head is aching very badly. He couldn’t remember anything. Not even Lily and the events that happen before. He is totally blank and confused.

“Doc!! Doc!! What is my name? I couldn’t remember anything. What happen to me? Why am I here?” shouted Andy.

Later in the evening, the doctor arrives for the final inspection of the day. The doctor explains that he is a victim of a snatch theft. He has been beaten at the back of his head with something very hard. It has given a blow at the most important part of his brain, that is his sereberum.

“It is normal that you’ll have headache. I’m not sure when you’ll be getting back your memory. It all depends on your recovery” explained the doctor.

The only thing that Andy remembered was his life before the accident. That means he has forgotten all about Lily and the lodging house.

At the lodging house, Lily waited for Andy. She waited until late night but Andy still hasn’t showed up. She tried to contact him, but fail. Lily was very worried.

She couldn’t sleep the whole night thinking about Andy.

            “What happen to Andy? Where has he gone to? Please come back Andy. Please…. I love you………” thought Lily and she dozed off into the oblivion.

The next day, Lily goes to town to search for Andy. But her effort did not work out. She did not know that Andy had lost his memory and only remembers the events that happen before the accident. She went to town many times searching for Andy. But it all ends up in disappointment. Nevertheless, Lily never stopped hoping. She still hopes her beloved will eventually come back to Kampung Sentosa and be with her.

          Months later, she moved to the big city, thinking that it’ll be easier to find Andy if she was staying in the city. Even if it has already been months, she still feels the sadness in her heart. She misses his husband, Andy, terribly. Although many sad things had happen to her, she still moves on with her life. Only thinking about the happy memories her husband has left for her.

            Without realizing, the time passes very fast. Soon, six years has already gone. There is a saying ‘time and tide waits for no man’.

Christmas Day was around the corner. One day she was driving to town. There were many people especially at the town’s shopping complex. Everybody is doing last minutes shopping to prepare for the Christmas celebration.

As she was about to turn into a perfect parking spot with shades and near to the entrance, she heard a voice.

“ Lily, Come here” said the man.

“Is that Andy?? I couldn’t be right? It’s just coincident” thought Lily as she turns right and left looking for the voice.

At a quick glanced, she was very shocked. A man that looks like Andy appeared in the parking lot. She still remembers the way Andy walked and smiled. Without wasting much time, she eagerly walked towards him. 

But something strange happened. As Lily slowly approaches him, there was a little girl, running towards Andy.

“ Daddy… Daddy…”  the little girl shouted.

Lily stopped her foot steps. Her heart stops beating suddenly. She looked at the little girl running towards Andy. At that moment, Lily knew that Andy is not shouting for her but for the little girl instead. She is trying to control herself from over reacting. Gripping her fist hard as rock. Calmly, Lily walked towards Andy hoping to get some explanation from him.

“ Are  you  Andy?” Lily asked.

“ No, I am  not. My name is Gabriel.” the man  said.

“ Oh.. sorry sir. I thought that you are Andy.” she replied.

As she heard Andy’s response, she felt very sad. Tears were at the edge of her eyes waiting to drip. She was very sure that was Andy.

“That was him!! That was him!! I’m very sure of that. Can’t I recognize my own husband?? But why can’t he recognize me? Why?” said Lily silently while walking back to her car.

She was so sure that was Andy because there is a tattoo stated “Lily and Andy” at his right arm. He had made it after they got married to show that their love will last forever.

Right after she reach her car, she couldn’t stand it any longer. She cried and cried with all her might not expecting their love story would end up this way. From the day she met Andy through the accident till the day Andy couldn’t recognize her. Slowly, tears begin to roll down her cheek and drips down to her lap.

                                             The End

well…how is it?

enjoy it?

leave me a comment ya…….

the lantern……..

October 8th, 2006 by hanchou85

          As the candle burns slowly in the lantern, my love for her burns together with the candle. Lanterns are so beautiful, but they will never last long. Nothing in life, is forever. Even the sweetest love you have had will never last forever. As the candle burns and melts, its just the matter of time before the lanterns too got burned. Well…….sometimes the lantern burns and sometimes not. Just like the memories of the love journey we had, sometimes the memories of our ex burns 2gether with the lantern and sometimes it doesn’t. You may think that we can find a new love while carrying the ex’s memories but it’ll be hard. Plus, it wouldn’t be fair to the current bf/gf. We can replace a new candle in the same lantern, but the wax from the old candle is still there. No matter what happen, the scar and the pain will stay inside you forever unless we delete the memories from our brain. The wax will be there, in the lantern, unless it is burned. Too much of wax will only burden the lantern and make the lantern look ugly. Nothing will loose if all the wax melts away. Never the less, the lantern will burn,…. sooner or later. I too wish that my lantern will burn as fast as possible cos i don’t want any of the wax to affect my life. It had already done much damage. I had enough.

          Its time for me to light a new candle and to find a new lantern. And to let the old lantern burns away…………………..

 

year 2006 ;-(

September 5th, 2006 by hanchou85

This is the worst sem in my all 3 semester. Exams, assignments and lab reports came crashing on me at the same time. Haih…. And i flunk my math test last week. So many assignments have to be completed. My finals is jus 2 more months to go.

The worst part is, even though its been a few months ….. I still misses her a lot. I couldn’t get her off from my brain. Every time before i sleep, i’ll surely thought of her. No matter afternoon nap or late night sleep the memories will eventually come into my brain and reminds me of her. It’s not like i wanted to think of her. It come by it self. How can I get over her?? I just want to get on with my life…… Its not like she will come back to me if I think more bout her?? What can I do?? Haih…… Sob….. sob……

As i said, this is the worst sem ever. It is also the worst year in my life. I’ve met 2 accidents this year. That cause me to change 3 handphones this year it self. Not to mention the PTPTN is not enough. But fortunetly, I’m fine. No broken bones or any other injuries. Only pokai nia.Besides that…. the air fare oso increase. Damm It!!!!! For MAS it cost me around rm500 to fly to and fro from sarawak to pg. Now after the increase, it cost around rm 600. Plus, AirAsia is reducing the cheap tickets. How can students goin to live in Sarawak. No wonder there is no 1 coming to UNIMAS.

Still a long way to go from here………